Half-baked Rhetoric

everyone i know goes away in the end

2005-03-08T18:41:00.000Z

You might have noticed that I haven't been posting of late. I'm not the only one. It might be the time of year. I don't seem to have the time or inclination these days, so I'm thinking of calling it a day, or at least having a break.

I'm still going to check and comment on blogs and maybe post from time to time. In the meantime check out Famous for 15 megapixels if you don't already. It's my favourite blog, written by a modern flaneur - very rare! The Red Box is also superbly written.

Thanks for reading.

Peter

*Johnny Cash - Hurt*

silence like a cancer grows

2005-02-24T15:50:00.000Z

Hungry?

I haven't had much time to write a post lately, so I've opted for the lazy man's way out. Shocking article though!

*Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound Of Silence*

don't watch the tool, the work it can do, watch the man that behind it

2005-02-17T22:51:00.000Z

I'm interested to know if there's anyone reading who has Sky TV? I've noticed that BBC channels skip frequently making watching anything at all annoying. I know of one other person who has the same problem and I'd like to hear if it's a common one. I'm sure you can guess what Rupert Murdoch probably thinks of the BBC as an institution so an orchestrated attack like this isn't as far fetched as it seems.

*Gladiators - Looks Is Deceiving*

I never learned nuttin'

2005-02-17T22:12:00.000Z

I wrote before about the disadvantage my generation is at in our (lack of) knowledge of grammar. I blamed a Thatcher education, having never been taught the basics at school. At secondary school we were taught the basics of French grammar, which we all promptly forgot once the exam was finished, but it must have been assumed that we would pick up the rules of English through our reading.

Fortunately however, not all my generation is in the same boat. For those whose parents sent them to private or public school grammar is not such a problem. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but I notice more and more that the people I speak to who have no idea what say a possesive pronoun is are from state schools; anyone else is likely to be a writer, a languages student or from a private school background.

This has some unfair implications. In the not too distant future the only people suitable for jobs as newspaper or magazine editors will be from private education. These are prestigious, important positions that directly influence our culture, yet only a small percentage will be eligible for them. Perhaps this is just the way things are across the (industries) board.

I'd be interested to know whether the situation has improved in state schools under Labour. I'm told by a friend in primary education that literacy and numeracy rates have improved, drastically, but statistics being as they are I'm none the wiser.

Most embarassing of all are those who learn English abroad and have a firmer grasp of correct form than most Brits. Maybe they'll be the editors of the near future.

*Souls Of Mischief - Tell Me Who Profits*

you never must question our motives or plans

2005-02-09T21:32:00.000Z

*The Jam - Standards*

when you awake you will remember everything

2005-02-05T01:08:00.000Z

The campaign I've been working has finished. I've been drinking all day and I'm about to have a spliff. Unfortunately, when I do things like that, things like the following may get written:

So far to go: improve it all but with no despair.
Double lungs; exercise in the muggy city air.
An unpressed rat, now not earning but without a care...
Now sample more; there're meanings to compare.
Boom! The Clash of rock on rap.
Seek a soul, for history's on tap.
To effect change is why I'm chose
a writer's fate - to battle powered foes.
With frustration, hands are wrought,
for oh! What price an unthought thought?

*The Band - When You Awake*

it might blow up but it wont go pop

2005-02-03T21:28:00.000Z

Do true artists have a right to sell out? There was a time when I'd have been likely to snigger disdainfully if asked that question, but I've softened. Why should artists have to eke out a living while lesser talented contempories live the life of Riley; all in the name of principle. Consider the example of The Black Eyed Peas. Their first album receives critical acclaim and is still respected, even by people who cannot bring themselves to utter their name anymore; but doesn't sell well - well enough that is. The second album is just as good, but again fails to put them in the 'ridiculously rich' category. What's the answer? Why to replace your original singer with a sexy blonde dancer of course! Oh and add some cheesey RnB hooks. It works. Platinum albums and awards come with the regulation millions and it's easier than making real music to boot.

Am I being too cynical? I mentioned that I'm becoming less puristic. Perhaps they want to get a message across and their fanbase wasn't broad enough to satisfy their urge to influence. Or even, in a less sarcastic way, having fought the good fight they deserve some remuneration in the later stages of their career. They're pawns in the game in the same way we all are. Even Bob Dylan was in an advert.

Then there's De La Soul, the funk-tastic group that came up with the brilliant metaphor in this post's title only to 'go pop' later in their career. There's a picture of them in the dictionary next to 'tragedy'. REM made a stand against groups allowing their music to be used by the capitalist pigs in adverts then let one of theirs be used. They're in the dictionary next to 'bland'.

One of the phrases I repeat more often than is cool is "All our heroes sell out". I started saying it when I heard about Bob Dylan in the lingerie ad, which may or may not have been on the same day Thierry Henry first endorsed The Sun. Then there's Elvis endorsing the war on drugs (that one's for you Sammy - pardy shadurday?). I think I understand the reasons well enough but such stories are always disappointing all the same.

I posted previously about The Zatopeks, my favourite punk kids. Like many of the British hip hop acts I like, and in fact most underground artists, their scene is so small that they just about cover expenses with gigs and record sales. That is to say they pay for their social life by living it. I'm convinced they never will but there's a marked difference between them selling out so they don't have to have a 9-5 job - which as far as I can tell could be constituted by something like signing to a major - and a successful group like De La Soul switching genre so they too can own a diamond-studded toothbrush. Incidentally one of the Black Eyed Peas' videos has them in a limo. lined with $100 bills: a concession to longer standing fans?

What sort of example does it all set to impressionable youngsters? "Make money! Squeeze, glean and connive as much as you can, regardless! Money is greatness! Everything has a price!". Oops I'm ranting.

On a personal level I'm not that bitter about it. It just makes it all the sweeter to find someone who never did: stand up Johann Cruyff and shake hands with Jeru the Damaga. Obviously you'll both have to sit back down... in the corner... of a burning room... when you adhere to the Bloorism that is.

*De La Soul - Patti Dooke*

imagine waking up to the fact that you're simply entertainment

2005-01-26T01:46:00.000Z

I struggle constantly with the urge to wax lyrical about how great Arsenal are on this blog, with satisfying success thus far; however, I have to post this prospective crowd song:

Arsene Wenger's magic,
He wears a magic hat,
And when he saw van Nistelrooy, he said "You cheating twat."
The players threw some pizza,
It went down Fergie's front,
And Arsene Wenger said to him, "Take that, you red-nosed c*nt!"

Genius poster on the 'Arsenal Times' messageboard :)

*Atmosphere - Everyone's Gonna Laugh At You*

suddenly his conscience comes into play

2005-01-22T14:03:00.000Z

'... the doctrine of will has been invented essentially for the purpose of punishment, that is of finding guilty. The whole of the old-style psychology, the psychology of will, has as its precondition the desire of its authors, the priests at the head of the ancient communities, to create for themselves a right to ordain punishments - or their desire to create for God a right to do so... Men were thought of as 'free' so they could become guilty: consequently, every action had to be thought of as willed ...'

- Friedrich Nietzsche

*Eminem - Guilty Conscience*

a hercules figure that was this much bigger

2005-01-20T14:38:00.000Z

This may only be of interest to people who know of him but check out my friend Kester anyway. He dropped out of porn because there was an HIV scare in the UK industry and now he's physique of the week :)

(Click on physique of the week, top right)

*TY - Hercules*

we're buddy holly's grandchildren, we want to rock and roll with you!

2005-01-18T21:19:00.000Z

The Zatopeks, named after the imprisoned Czech runner and Communist Emil Zatopek, are my favourite comedown cure. One weekend UKWarrior was visiting and we went raving to an old favourite of mine, Planet Angel. This is one of the few places in London where you can do pills with people in their sixties, and the friendliness of the place is unlike anywhere else. The next day when we surfaced at 18:00, in Brixton, the last thing we felt like doing was trekking back across London to see a pop-punk gig, but we'd promised our old housemate we'd make it. It turned out to be the perfect thing to do. It's the most energetic show I'd ever seen. The venue was tiny and sweaty, for although they're fairly well known on the continent the scene is still small in this country. A popular Australian all-girl band The Spazzys wrote a song about them for their recent album and it's one of my favourites. I'm a big fan of the Zatopeks and I'd never really been into punk before.

They play in London from time to time and I really recommend checking them out (see their website for gig info). Clicking here will start a download of an early song.

*Zatopeks - Buddy Holly's Grandchildren*

leave us helpless, helpless, helpless

2005-01-16T15:31:00.000Z

*Neil Young - Helpless*

the manor that I'm living in...

2005-01-14T01:10:00.000Z

*Foreign Beggars feat Skinnyman - Hold On*

old man look at my life, 24 and there's so much more

2005-01-13T14:55:00.000Z

Ok I'm 23 but who's counting? I want to share with you the following poem by George Orwell.

A happy vicar I might have been
Two hundred years ago,
To preach upon eternal doom
And watch my walnuts grow

But born, alas, in an evil time,
I missed that pleasant haven,
For the hair has grown on my upper lip
And the clergy are all clean-shaven.

And later still the times were good,
We were so easy to please,
We rocked our troubled thoughts to sleep
On the bosoms of the trees.

All ignorant we dared to own
The joys we now dissemble;
The greenfinch on the apple bough
Could make my enemies tremble.

But girls' bellies and apricots,
Roach in a shaded stream,
Horses, ducks in flight at dawn,
All these are a dream.

It is forbidden to dream again;
We maim our joys or hide them;
Horses are made of chromium steel
And little fat men shall ride them.

I am the worm who never turned,
The eunuch without a harem;
Between the priest and the commissar
I walk like Eugene Aram;

And the commissar is telling my fortune
While the radio plays,
But the priest has promised an Austin Seven,
For Duggie always pays.

I dreamed I dwelt in marble halls,
And woke to find it true;
I wasn't born for an age like this;
Was Smith? Was Jones? Were you?

*Neil Young - Old Man*

do you remember the good old days before the ghost town?

2005-01-13T01:28:00.000Z

Due to the over-whelmingly poor success of the lyrics guessing game, I've decided to change tack... and just give you the answers. I always like the songs used so the list gives you an idea of the sort of music I'm into.

*The Specials - Ghost Town*

and if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear. You shout and no one seems to hear

2005-01-12T23:45:00.000Z

Forgive the pretentious title. I like the song is all :)

Fascinating article. I've often wondered if I could give up my mobile phone. If I'm honest I'm not sure I could, which is quite sad and not in keeping with the way I'd like to think I am. I had a phone when I was quite young, too young really to use it much. Forgettingly, I agree that kids shouldn't be allowed phones if they're a health risk. The 'precautionary principle' has been mentioned in the press recently vis-à-vis Global Warming and the expiring Kyoto protocol and it can be applied here.

*Pink Floyd - Brain Damage*

there's nothing out here for us, negative forces force us to live lawless

2005-01-12T21:10:00.001Z

There's a new craze amongst 16-18 year olds 'round here. I first heard of it through my brother a while back, then again recently from someone I play football with. I'm told there was a piece on the local news about it too.

A gang of kids will approach someone, in a public place like on a bus or just on the street, and randomly hit or slap them in the face a couple of times then run off. One of them will have filmed it all with a camera phone. These messages get sent around between friends and snowball, quickly becoming anonymous. That's how I first heard of them - some of my brother's college mates apparently had a few.

It's all about the reaction of the victim. They get off on the helplessness of them, and the shock. It's like a nasty cross between Trigger Happy TV, Jackass and the Tango advert, banned a few years ago after copycat playground incidents left a few kids deaf.

It happened recently to a friend's girlfriend as she was walking home in the evening. She was terrified. And bruised. Like the mugging incident it was just kids having fun and not appreciating (or caring in some cases no doubt) the effects of what they're doing. It's a sinister new use for the technology. But it is creative. Like a new-technology replacement for the comic or something. Maybe they'll put it in one of the hilarious pre-film Orange video-messaging ads. They could have the director selling his vision to the board and trying to keep his integrity.

What is most worrying about it to me is that a surprising number of people have one on their phone. I'm not going to launch into a rant about the desensitising of today's youth or the shock culture because you'll have heard it all before and it's hardly a modern phenomenon anyway, but this is more evidence of those problems. Maybe moving to a gated compound in the suburbs is the answer. And we could all get guns!

*Jehst - China Shop Taurus*

received a letter just the other day, don't seem they wanna know me know more

2005-01-06T17:24:00.000Z

I received an interesting series of envelopes this morning, all from the promotions agency I work for. For anyone that cares, it's called 'The Network'. This post is my tribute to them.

The fact that I received multiple envelopes all on the same day almost sums them up, only missing completion in it's lack of a representation of greed. I get on average 3 text messages a day from them, presumably at some cost to them. And thank God I do, for I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to be re-booked, or miss out on such necessities as 'you are booked for tomorrow, please be on time'.

The only interesting package in the shit-pile of booking confirmations and pay-slips (showing I pay about 24% tax - is that right?) was my contract. Only to call it a contract is a gross misnomer. It effectively tells me I have no rights, while flipping me the bird. 'We've found loopholes in all the laws put in place to protect you as an employee, and here's how we circumvented them'. 'Also, you are worth nothing to us'. (These might not be direct quotes by the way). 'Please feel free to die, and we will mourn you.' 'Not'.

The worst thing is, I know all this already, and I knew it when I signed up. Temps aren't worth the motley rags they turn up to work in. But I'm not even required to sign this contract. They just sent it for my records. Or to put me in my place. 'You're scum and you know you are, now take your money and fuck off'.

Temporary labour is one of the things I object to about the way things are going (I've read 'No Logo' don't you know?) but it's not all bad. I was actually whistling to myself as I walked home through Canonbury today (that's a nice part of town near me). There was no denying it, I was in a good mood. It might have been a come-back-up (not a well known or catchy phrase I'll admit) but it's just as likely to have been that I don't hate what I'm doing. I always finish early, and it's quite well paid. For my present requirements it's pretty ideal, and even this attempt to get me to swallow something I gag on isn't going to ruin my day. Must be all the meditation I've been doing :)

*Madness - Embarrassment*

and someone says you're in the wrong place my friend, you'd better leave

2005-01-06T15:01:00.000Z

I'm afraid I haven't had the time to write anything half-decent today, which is a shame because I'm supposed to be finishing an article for an Arsenal website that is about to launch, and I've submitted a woefully small amount so far. Noteworthy blogging will have to wait.

In the meantime, you should read this (while trying to guess which song the title is from of course). [appended: chance'd be a fine thing].

*Bob Dylan - Desolation Row*

when they kick at your front door, how you gonna come?

2005-01-05T18:22:00.000Z

A perfect world?

I've decided to use song lyrics as post titles for a while. 10 points if you can get what they are - I'll be keeping score and if you use google to get them, you're a fraud and a cheat. What's that you say? A ruse to get more comments?? damn cheek!!

Is it immoral to be paid to collect money for the tsunami fund? That's what I'll be doing on Friday. I'll shake extra hard! Well ok, I'll donate most of it to the fund.... but I'm keeping a bit cos I have to start at 6:30am then do a normal days work on top.

P.S. I'll write something worth reading soon, honest

*The Clash - Guns Of Brixton*

2005-01-04T19:40:00.000Z

at 4 o'clock the normal world seems very, very, very far away

2005-01-04T19:17:00.000Z

Bloody comedowns. Just when I thought I'd dealt with my insomnia it reared its ugly head again. A friend sent me some photos from our first year at uni. How young and shorn we were :)

I'm the one with the light top (it's not white - I promise). UKWarrior is sitting on my right, and on the far right of the photo is 'the Giant', my rock and roll mate. I'm going to post more pictures this year.

*Pulp - Sorted For E's & Whizz*

bloor's law

2005-01-01T21:47:00.000Z

I used to say something while I was living in Nottingham that one of my housemates labelled Bloor's Law. It amounts to "things are never as bad as you dread them being, even if the worst-case scenario plays out". So based on this I don't tend to get stressed about things, especially things I'm powerless to change. That's not to say I don't plan ahead or try to minimise potential damage, but I won't sit tearing my hair out if things get bulbous bottomed.

So we had a party at my parent's house for NYE while they were away. It was pretty messy too, far more so than I had intended. Despite my best preparations, things went wrong, as they are wont to at parties. They were due to get back on New Year's day in the evening, so regardless of the state(s) I was in I was always gonna have to get up and tidy up. And 'tidy up' does no justice whatsoever to either the mammoth job awaiting, or the neatness expectations my house-proud mother holds.

And I cleaned up, despite having had just two hours dreamless sleep, and getting it done wasn't even that bad. In spite of people's best vommiting efforts the house looked normal [read uncomfortably clean] and I was thinking "ah, bloor's law eh?".

But I've realised the law can be countered, not by fate or God or chance, but if the opposing force is another Bloor.

They came back from their 'relaxing' break desperate to find something to be angry about. And because I was feeling pretty chuffed with having cleaned things up so well, things actually turned out worse than I dreaded not better.

I hereby vow never to give a shit if someone sleeps in my bed, for the rest of my life. I can't believe intelligent people can become so fuming about something so insignificant. But then saying things like that doesn't help in this sort of argument, and they didn't in this argument. But I was feeling like I had been up till 11am doing pills and drinking so I wasn't as apologetic as I would normally be. "Forgive me mother. I am a worm."

Anyway, things are a tad uncomfortable here now, and in this heavy comedown mood I have to remember Bloor's-stolen-catchphrase: "Only wankers feel sorry for themselves"

Happy New Year everyone. I've got a good feeling about 2005.

mid-bender respite

2004-12-26T22:47:00.000Z

I seem to be suffering from some kind of Christmas narcolepsy. Today, for the second time recently, I fell asleep while waiting for someone to get off the phone. I think it's because there are so many bodies in the house and what with having the heating on super-high to deal with winter, my body thinks it's hibernating time. My mum would suggest that I'm drinking too much, and my friends that I'm smoking and drinking too much, but I'm sticking with the heat theory. Twice now I've been faced with the prospect of going out with a same-day-hangover (the worst kind IMO). Still, it makes me feel that I've done justice to the season of gluttony :)

Everyone should download 'Comptine d'un autre été' by Yann Tiersen. It's my favourite tune in the world right now, from both the Amelie and the Goodbye Lenin soundtrack.

Back in my next break from the debauchery.
xx

merry xmas all

2004-12-24T13:54:00.000Z

I'm planning on getting pretty wasted tonight, whatever happens, so I won't get another chance to post and say 'Merry Christmas'!!

All the consumerist bullshit aside, xmas does affect most people positively. Everyone seemed so happy today and I couldn't help being touched by it. Even the (usually) unfriendly and condescending suits of Cannon St. were getting in to the spirit.

So have a good one anyway. And I bet I eat more than you tomorrow :)

free thinkers welcome

2004-12-22T18:14:00.000Z

I need help coming up with a cool username for my new gmail address (thanks Kate).

'peterbloor' is available, as is 'peter.bloor', but I reckon they'll still be available when addresses are made available to all - I have to take advantage of this opportunity, and grab a snazzy email address while I can. So I need ideas. They have to be 6 or more letters long and most of the dictionary words seem to be taken, but periods (.'s) can be used to make phrases more legible. Damn the man who took 'damntheman' too. That would have been cool... huh huh :)

Suggestions on a comment please.

aren't i a busy blogger?

2004-12-21T17:34:00.000Z

call yourself tom, edmund or esther

2004-12-21T16:03:00.000Z

for I have taken on the role of Big Brother. If you scroll to the bottom of this page you will see my hits counter. But to call it that is to do it an injustice as it's so much more than that. With it I can tell who visits, where you visit from, how long you stay, which pages you visit and even what browser you use, plus a multitude of other useless data.

It's a bit annoying, as it's set to zero which'll make new visitors to the blog think it's even less popular than it is. It also has the potential to be quite depressing. And if I were to sit here all day on the analysis screen, I would catch visitors in real time and get to see what they were reading as they were reading it. Spooky eh?

Check out www.statcounter.com to get your own.

Appended: Get on my new styles... peekaboo comments and a way of seeing which comments are new.

Plus if you like the 'On this day' feature visible near the date above posts, then check out how to do it at http://newlinks.blogspot.com/

Coming soon: A funky new Flash interface... well a movie at least

a thatcher education

2004-12-21T13:42:00.000Z

I could write a lot more on this but... another time maybe.

I can't actually remember being taught grammar at any stage of my education. Now I'm not one of those people who gets angry over the most miniscule error, but I read a bit of 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves' and was surprised to learn one or two things. Its inexcusable (only kidding grammar nazis - I know it should be 'it's' not 'its') how bad many people's grasp of grammar is, especially when compared with those who learn English abroad.

But that's a familiar rant. What inspired me to post was noticing just how many intelligent friends write 'definately' instead of 'definitely'. I've noticed it in emails and on blogs and it's usually from people of my generation. There must be a reason for it. Perhaps Sesame St. played a trick on you all. I didn't have a TV at that age, which could explain my impeccable spelling :)

I tend to 'know' things with such certainty that I've been known to embarass myself defending something that turns out to be incorrect - I wrote 'equasion' until I was 11/12 and would feel indignant at the red circles on homework. Knowing this, I checked dictionary.com (linked in case you don't believe me) before writing this, just to be sure.

I'd be interested in your thoughts. Are there any other commonly recurring examples?

And who'll be the first to spot the deliberate mistake? *God I hope there's only one* :)

plebeian problems

2004-12-20T16:38:00.000Z

If philosophy aims to show the fly the way out of the ointment, sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Most of the flies just aren't worth saving.

I'm giving out free copies of a slimmer (i.e. even shitter) Evening Standard for xmas money. Actually, I'd better say 'Winter Solstice' money as that's what we'll be celebrating this year. One of the girls I was working with was the quintessential moronic jobsworthy cretin. And she was a brummie. And about 40!! She introduced herself and within 15 minutes was telling me about a guy she was seeing, and how he didn't treat her right. He'd turned up last saturday for a 'dirty weekend' - her words (which brought a cold shiver to my spine) - in Paris with 40 quid and she'd had to pay for it all. He'd paid for a weekend at the coast previously but that was when they were seeing each other - etiquette requires going dutch if you're not together - so didn't count.

I sat there trying to appear sympathetic. She "only want[ed] a man's point of view", but she didn't seem content with asking me, and broadcasted our (one-way) conversation to Kings Cross. I sat there next to her, really hungover, while she made sure everyone knew she was talking to me by grabbing my hand to emphasize her points... "I WAS RIGHT TO MAKE HIM WALK HOME WASN'T I?"

I made the mistake of telling her that I was new to the agency so she walked me through the complex form filling procedures, step by painfully long step, then again. Thankfully the agency insists we work alone, so I didn't have to suffer her all morning, but she made sure to visit periodically, like the old hand she wanted to be, advising me on how to give out the papers more quickly or stand in the best place. Also, we did have to go back to the depot together... well only after she'd stopped for to chat to each and every unlucky ES vendor we happened to pass. And.. Oh fuck there're delays!
"lets get thuh buzz."
"nah that'll take ages.. let's just ring and say we can't get back." (Edgware Rd)
"but we wont get paid... we need to give these jackets back."
"we won't get paid if we can't get back?"
"it's company policy!"
"even though you're going to need a jacket tomorrow?"
"coom on, we HAVE to go back"

Anyway I rang and then went home and I think she got the bus. Luckily I'm not down to do Kings Cross again. I'm quite an empathetic person, like James, but she made me angry. I wouldn't mind, but with all the struggling and drowning, she's muddying the ointment for everyone else.

and they all lived happily ever after

2004-12-13T18:25:00.001Z

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I don't know whether part of me wants to hibernate or something but I haven't really had the inclination to write anything. I think I only want to spend a certain amount of time in front of the computer and since I've been learning Flash I haven't found time to write anything worth posting. I'm enjoying designing and animating things and I've got loads of ideas, but I find sitting at a computer rather depressing. Perhaps subconsciously I'm fleeing from stereotypes :)

If you haven't seen Bill Bailey's stand up - Bewilderness, then do. One joke describes Kinder Surprise as 'the Eggs of Numbing Inevitability', and sums up the disappointment of getting such a crap toy after all the branded pre-purchase anticipation. This is how I feel about so many things at the moment. Films and adverts are so rarely aimed at me. I know this because far more often than not a film or advert will leave me cold. I feel somewhat cut off. Music is the same. Obviously the vastness of humanity and history ensures there are plenty of films and albums with at least some soul, but it's almost never a mainstream thing.

Unearthing something good without it being handed to you on a plate is satisfying, but I feel embarassed by the smug feeling I get at not being a target of mainstream shit. What if I'm into what I'm into not on any sort of merit but because it's not what eveyone else is into? Nah, that would be 'finding-yourself' teenage insecurity. I trust my convictions more than that.

I saw 'Troy' and then 'Arthur' recently. Talk about numbing inevitability. I knew both would be dire but I did so want them to be good. I actually rate Brad Pitt (and I don't want to offend anyone) but like all Americans, he just cannot look noble on screen *cough* kevin costner *cough*. Arthur could have been done really well, but yet again a Hollywood history lesson failed to capture the right feeling.

A part of it is definitely that I have a problems with endings. The disappointment is worst in books. To enjoy a book all the way through just to end up feeling unsated and incomplete is awful. I've started to expect endings to be bad, and it's back to the kinder eggs. Before I had finished it I talked to kt about the His Dark Materials trilogy. I was enthusing about it and she said that she found it unsatisfying, and having finished I have to agree. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists was similarly disappointing. Norwegian Wood too. And I don't even always think the endings are bad. The ending of The Office was as good as I'd hoped but I can't think of many other examples. Goodbye Lenin of course. And all of the above are very good reads. I just wanted to be wowed at the end and that hasn't happened for a long time.

If I ever have to end anything I think I'll try to leave most of it to the imagination - to guide towards an enriching ending that's abstract enough to allow people to tailor it to their needs. It can be happy, sad or neither as long as it's satisfying. Erm... and they all lived happily ever after! ;)

bbc

2004-11-29T14:48:00.000Z

i can post pictures again

2004-11-27T20:44:00.000Z

The photo below is from a New Statesman article, the basis being that SUVs are at least as dangerous to children as tobacco. I was going to link but the site wouldn't let me access it a second time so fuck it. It was only the kind of Green article George Monbiot has written about anyway but I thought since I used the picture I should link it.

Never mind... I haven't got time to worry about that, what with all the pictures I'm going to post.

now I don't smoke

2004-11-27T20:41:00.001Z

postmodernist essays

2004-11-26T15:39:00.000Z

Click here. (I'd advise you not to read the entire thing but a few lines then the bottom paragraph).

It's quite a clever idea, and the essays are surprisingly readable. I've been reading a fair bit about modernism and postmodernism having never encountered them at school or uni, and have come across similar essays.

Interestingly (or utterly not) a similar technique to that used by the website is also used to enable computer programs to write new programs in 'evolutionary programming'. And patents that stood for years have been improved on as a result.

P.S. Notice I used 'postmodernism' and not the derogatory 'post-modernism'? Didn't think so :)

if you thought the States was divided...

2004-11-26T13:35:00.000Z

...take a look at this. The country should probably split.

Confusingly similar names too. I reckon that would have thrown a few Americans - "hey Cletus, are you gon' vote for Jorge W Bush or Jorge U Boosh?" :P

hard work is over-rated

2004-11-25T11:08:00.000Z

Read this somewhere:

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give more than 100%? Anyone ever involved in a team must have been asked at some point to give more than 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far arse kissing will take you.
A-R-S-E-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+18+19+5+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 122%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the bullshit and arse kissing that will put you over the top.

will self - you're my hero

2004-11-22T01:59:00.000Z

This is the most spot on and funny thing I have read for ages.

:D

anyone bored?

2004-11-21T18:31:00.000Z

Someone sent me this link. I haven't managed to check them all out yet, but I reckon the first five games on this site are some of the best I've ever played :)

Still not smoking by the way, and won 3-0 against one of the top teams today. We get match reports printed in the local paper so I'm gonna have to start getting it, though it's usually quite a depressing read, what with it being the Hackney Gazette and all.

I was given a really nice scarf and pair of gloves by my mum so I'm truly prepared for those winter cycle rides. All I need now is Adecco to turn up a cool job and it'll all be sunshine and rainbows.

Also, yippee etc... :)

Appended - do something useful and check out this. I've been reading 'No Logo' by Naomi Klein. She talks about consumer/voter power affecting change in South Africa. We should be using it to remove the multinational funding of genocide in Sudan

clever invention

2004-11-18T21:55:00.000Z

Can't really remember how I got there but I ended up on this site
I think it's a really good idea.

a reassuringly human reaction

2004-11-18T14:38:00.000Z

I'd heard about sorryeverybody.com but never actually looked at it. There's something really genuine and touching about it. I sat looking at the gallery section for ages and it gave me a Christmassey sort of feeling. Maybe Americans aren't so bad after all :)

still clean

2004-11-18T01:04:00.000Z

I'm doing well I think. I've been to a pub now, and watched a game of football, all the while feeling sorry for the mugs around me that were smoking. This is entirely the kind of post that will come back around and bite me on the arse when my weak-willed self shows itself, but i'm feeling strong.

I'm pushing weights fairly regularly and I may be wrong but I could swear I'm having dreams about being healthy. My smoke-free future depends largely upon me remembering the awful vision of my viscous blood struggling to get around my clogged arteries and veins. Those infomercials had a devastating effect..

I had to repress my cynicism while reading the book I mentioned (Allen Carr) but like so many self-help programmes it's all about what you take from them. There's an adage about a charlatan and his subsequent effects that springs to mind. In an attempt to address my gap athletic nature, my mum's partner has arranged for me to sit a personality test. Someone I'm very close to did psycology at uni and made me aware of the leading nature of such tests, but the same goes for them. If they work for you then all good. My mum's partner used the results to make him happier in one way or another. I've got a feeling I'll take the results with a pinch of salt but I'm also sure they'll help in some way, if only to point me towards the direction I seem to be lacking. Cynic my arse :)

One of the guys I play football with is more idealistic than me. Yes! I live with tories and feel removed from my socialist uni blanket so I'm forever reminded that I'm "so idealistic recently" ('yes mother!!!'). It annoys me that there has to be such a marked difference between idealistic and realistic. Surely ideals will only come to fruition if we make them. People use it as an excuse... "yeah that's all well and good but in real life.. blah blah blah". I hate it but it feels more and more like the truth. It's nice to find someone who I can feel more realistic than.

One of the questions asked on politicalcompass.org (couldn't be arsed to link it) is whether coming to terms with the establishment is a sign of maturity. This is one of the phrases that has really impacted on me (like Murakami's 'only wankers feel sorry for themselves') because it seems to make a lot of sense. People just get realistic, and it sucks.

Anyway, I've just signed up for another year of temping with a friendly (read soulless) rep from Adecco (I hope I spelt that wrong). But hey... "yippee, I'm a non-smoker!" :D

Note to self: must stop posting when pissed :)

yippee! I'm a non-smoker

2004-11-15T18:21:00.000Z

This is to be my mantra whenever I feel the death throes of 'the little monster' :)

I've finished Allen Carr's 'Easy Way to Stop Smoking' and I'm about to embark on a lifetime that's free of bondage :D

thoughts on the election

2004-11-04T21:15:00.000Z

A post on the genius of insanity blog reminded me of something we used to joke about at university. How is it that the American right has made liberal into a dirty word?

A large amount of blog-space was dedicated to the campaign by the Guardian to influence swing state voters, and the feedback is fascinating in that it seems to demonstrate the 'us against the world' mentality that is prevalent in some Americans. I think the strong feelings regarding the events of 9/11 (or 11/9 as perhaps it should be written) have been deliberately manipulated to cement this mind set. But the manipulation only strengthened a mentality that was already there. A hangover from the cold war?

A recent BBC2 programme by Adam Curtis on the politics of fear suggests that Leo Strauss, a lecturer of political theory at the University of Chicago taught (a group including members of the present Bush administration) that Western liberalism was the downfall of American society and in order to regain control of the masses a common enemy was needed. Americans needed to see themselves as the beacon of good in the world, against all that is bad. In this way the Soviet Union was portrayed as bad bad bad etc.

It's this idea that I think has made America reelect Bush. American values 'freed' the world from the tyranny of communism. They will bring democracy to the downtrodden of the world. And they were mercilessly attacked by evil international terrorists. Bush stands for these values. Kerry is liberal. He doesn't stand for the values. In fact the values are more important than the morals they are supposed to represent.

As the definition-link above shows, to be liberal is to be all of the things we are trying to install in ex-dictatorship countries (I say we because Britain is in no real position to point the finger). Yet a liberal mind set could start to eat away at those values. If we start to let women have abortions, what's next? Queers getting married? The values that did all that 'good' will be lost forever. They'll be taking our guns next. No!

I also think to many Americans, liberalism is synonymous with communism, and we know what a scourge that is. Whatever happens I'm not letting some common upstart call into question the God given right of some to have more than others.

It's all about the media and what sheeple are told to think. It's weird to me that even in this selfish age people can be led into opinions, especially when they worsen their situation.

The phrase 'war on terror' is as overused as the penalty spots at Old Trafford, but is misused as literally it actually means 'war on fear'. This is entirely more appropriate. I wouldn't mind a 'war' on people's fear being fought in my name.

As I edited this post I was listening to Sage Francis. The lyrics are quite apt:
"War is God's method of teaching Americans geography" :)

reasons to hate computers #1811*

2004-11-04T19:49:00.000Z

In an attempt to embrace the future I installed Windoze XP using the CD that came with a different computer. Microsoft has a new anti-piracy measure which requires that each piece of software be activated or it will stop working. I assumed that because my computer isn't connected to the Internet I'd get away with it, but that'd be far too easy.

What annoys me is that these anti-piracy things don't actually affect the people who make money from it because they're skilled enough to circumvent it. And it's company policy to ignore piracy in developing economies because that way a soon-to-be wealthy (and legitimate) market grows up using Windows instead of something else (/better??) . So their measure to catch people like me caught a person like me.

There's a phone number unconnected people need to ring. I won't bore you further with the details of why I can't cheat them (and I've been trying all day) but in 30 days my jukebox will be unuseable and I'm pissed off.

To make things worse with this 30 day trial copy I've managed to set up a network so I've got Internet access in my room at long last... but only for 30 days... actually that's 29 days.

I'm thinking of getting techie on it and switching to linux. Any suggestions or advice?

*1811 is the year the Luddites appeared - in Nottingham incidentally

i blame this

2004-11-04T19:47:00.000Z

http://www.gop.com/taxinvaders/

It's actually quite funny.

Must have been aimed at the top bracket though.

rig one, get one free

2004-11-03T17:34:00.000Z

Kerry has conceded. What sort of nation would vote in the Bush administration? Do they really think they did a good job these past four years? I'm seriously worried, and gutted. Selfish, irresponsible bastards!

meme

2004-10-26T17:35:00.000Z

I too forgot to do the meme thing, so here goes. I wrote this today and it's the first I've written for about 8 years so forgive the lameness :)

It all flies by at c
because I must have more
and fuck pleasure
and fuck pity
I lie uneasy at the thought
and feel cliched deep
like Maxi Jazz I can't get no sleep
rat race monotony
or corporative autonomy
is the meaning of life just to serve the economy?

There's more but I'm going to save it for my debut as an emcee :)

is there anything sweeter...

2004-10-25T13:18:00.000Z

than seeing a mosquito struggling in a spider's web?

well perhaps finding out that one of the Arsenal players threw a cup of hot pea soup over the ignoble Alex Ferguson.

2 reasons for me not to feel so down after a joke of a referee ruined my week.

this war on terrorism is bogus

2004-10-17T01:16:00.000Z

Thought people should read this. Nothing new really but interesting all the same

that's better

2004-10-06T13:02:00.000Z

Although you wouldn't think so from the reaction. I watched the second debate last night, between Cheney and Edwards. Both were in a different league to their candidate, being completely in control of the facts and figures. I didn't previously realise that Edwards used to be a trial lawyer, but it showed. In my opinion he wiped the floor with Cheney, who was reduced to not always using his response time and murmuring facts and figures.

He used the right arguments at the right time to put pressure on the Bush-Cheney camp over all topics and worded his arguments well. Then in 'spin alley' afterwards they gave it to Cheney. Edwards had hung him out to dry, particularly after an attack on Halliburton but the BBC reporters suggested he wasn't suited to this kind of debate.

Edwards beat Cheney more than Kerry beat Bush in my opinion but consensus is saying otherwise. I guess that says something about the media and using primary sources to form opinions.

take your chances with the drink drivers

2004-10-05T19:54:00.000Z

Last night I survived the latest in a series of quarterly attempts to relieve me of my lovely bike. It's getting quite annoying to be honest. To start with my bike would fetch at most £30. There might be the added bonus of a mobile phone and the small change in my pocket but I've now decided that I'm not going to let go of anything without a fight.

After a post-training pint I rode down the cycle route (through some of the nicest parts of hackney I might add) smoking a cigarette, when I saw a couple of scrotes in hoodies. They were standing at a point where a road island creates a bottleneck so cars can't get through. I had the option of turning around and choosing a different route, but I'm 23 (now) and [soundbite 1] I wont submit to fear [/sb1]. Once my choice was made I noticed one of them was holding a bat like he was a pre-battle Samurai - head down, bat pointed at the ground.

I headed towards the unarmed guy. "Where are you going bruv?". I swerved around him but he fly-kicked me. Luckily, being a cretin he couldn't even get mugging right and he hit my leg so I stayed on the bike.

My adrenaline was pumping at this point and in the second in which it all took place I'd been preparing myself for the worst, so to ride away seemed like an anticlimax. I'd been sizing them up and I was all for making at least one of them regret ever even thinking about it, but being the

pessimistically

unconfrontational,

shrewdly

sensible

young man that I am (acrostic poets eat your heart out), I rode off. I did manage a glib "I'll be back in a minute boys" which I think is an improvement on the "do you think I wont see you again?" I used before.

I'm using the whole incident as a test of character, to see if I can just let it go. It's tempting to wallow in it and replay the incident a million times in my mind, getting angry about the affront of it all, but it's just not worth it. After all it's something of a rite of passage for them. It's not about what you nick at that age (about 16-17), but whether you've got the balls to do it. I think the moral of the story is to not use the cycle routes after dark :)

birthday boy

2004-10-02T16:39:00.000Z

It's my birthday today. My team Arsenal pulled themselves out of the mini-slump we've been going through recently and that was a cool start to the day. That combined with the fact that I'm going out with loads of family and friends for a big birthday thing tonight means I'm in a really good mood :) So much so in fact that I'm not gonna drift into introspection and worry about all the things I thought I would have done by the age of 23. I'm more worried that I haven't been really drunk for a while and I'm going to embarass myself after a day of drinking :)

master debaters?

2004-10-01T13:32:00.000Z

I made a conscious effort to stay up last night and watch the live debate between Bush and Kerry. To be honest I was more than a little disappointed. If I knew that I was going to be debating in front of the watching world I would make sure I was completely prepared. I would want to be able to conclusively answer anything my opponent could throw at me, and have every possible attack well rehearsed. Neither man seemed this well prepared.

I appreciate the intensity of the pressure involved. For both, in terms of debates, the stakes don't get any higher, and this must explain the obvious tactics involved. The Bush angle was that a man who was inconsistent in his support of the war was sending "mixed messages" (I lost count of how many times he used that phrase) to the troops, the allies and the enemy. His sword was Kerry's "wrong war, wrong place, wrong time" quote and he brandished it repeatedly to show he was the Commander in Chief to lead the troops to victory.

Kerry's main attck seemed to be that Bush had made a gross mistake in leading the country to war in Iraq when they had their prey (ObL) trapped in the mountains of Tora Bora. This was quite a clever tactic IMO. Bush couldn't admit to the mistake because then he would become the kind of faltering leader he was suggesting Kerry would be. This led Bush to ask "what kind of leader would send out such mixed messages.. ..?" for the umpteenth time and was one of disappointingly few minor victories in the debate.

Both camps obviously had to appeal to the lowest common denominator and it showed. Bush stood firm and was a wartime leader. Kerry had to be seen as strong so repeated that he would hunt down the terrorists. Bush talked of his meeting with a dead soldier's mother and how heart-wrenching it was. He switched into 'caring' mode for the story, in an obviously deliberately different tone. Kerry bored with repeated references to his service in Vietnam. No Cissero-ean debating here. There's a theory that a million repeated suggestions make a truth. I think over the course of their campaigns both men will have made a truth or two.

The problem with the debate for me was how little their argument of the issues affected things. Watching the coverage of 'spin alley' directly afterwards was depressing. Here the true talents in the field of manipulation from the respective camps were interviewed, with each new speaker almost convincing (even cynical me) that in fact their man had won the debate hands down.

The debate matters even less when you consider that most of the audience will have made up their mind before the event. Johann Hari has an interesting piece on the 2 Americas (Republican and Liberal), and it made me think that the camps are so fundamentally different that none will defect, regardless of the arguments given in the debates.

I just spoke to a friend on the phone and told him I watched the debate. "Yeah, I heard it was like the professor versus the cowboy". He'd read it in the Guardian. This is what I mean. The debate means next to nothing when compared to the spin.

I know that debates have been pivotal in the past (Gore sweating too much seems to have cost him) but I think war issues have drawn a clear line between right and left and the actual debate becomes a bit pointless. Having said that, I think it's a cool tradition and I'd very much like to see it introduced in Britain..

One good point that came out sticks in my mind. Both men said nuclear proliferation was their primary concern, with Kerry going on to say that he would shut down US nuclear weapons research. He said his efforts would be the (Kennedy's) Nuclear Test Ban Treaty of our generation. A very clever and strangely inspiring phrase.

No communication from Bush would be complete without a few blunders. Here are the one's I can remember. Kerry said that contrary to Bush's statement, bilateral talks with N.Korea would work, then implied Bush was liberal with the truth (another minor victory). The chair drew Bush's attention to the attack and it was obvious he hadn't been listening, going on to talk about Iraq. And I'll leave Bush to sum up my leanings with possibly his worst howler to date: "We cannot have a leader who sends out mexed missages" :)

ideas about reality

2004-09-29T23:07:00.000Z

I had a really interesting conversation today with an old friend from before uni. He had just got back from Amsterdam and brought round some evil skunk and my all time favourite gear; Christmas Pollen, and as a result I had loads of new ideas.

He was talking about what made things real and we were talking about memories etc and I’ve been bored since he left so I’ve been thinking about it a lot. My line of thought has gone like this. My life (i.e. me) is a point in a multi-dimensional space and can change in any direction in any dimension. Dimensions overlap and influence each other. Time is represented in one of these dimensions, dreams happen in many dimensions, hallucinations and imagination likewise. Waking actions change different dimensions and interacting with other people influences others. The current state of all the dimensions represents my reality.

I only consciously register the obvious four dimensions as reality because my brain is wired that way. In terms of my reality, my dreams are ‘real’, because they influence who I am, how I think etc. They do not change me in terms of time or one of the other three dimensions that are noticeable but they still change me as a whole. The same with ‘trips’ and imagination.

There’s a book I’ve heard about but not actually read called ‘The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test’. Set in the 60s it describes how Ken Kesey and his Merry Pranksters used prototype LSD to change their reality. They saw their life as their own personal movie that was theirs to change. They baffled suspicious cops who’d had no exposure to drugs with weirdness. They’d confuse their victims in the split second between the senses registering and the brain processing. That’s an extremely brief explanation and probably doesn’t do the idea justice, but it made me think.

When I first properly tripped on mushrooms I remember feeling like all the walls in my brain had been removed. Like I understood things more. I remember being quite surprised that tripping isn’t just visual - you actually take a trip from your personality and lose your inner monologue, and time has absolutely no meaning. My trip could have lasted a whole day or half an hour for all I knew at the time. You deal with thoughts on an individual basis, entirely understanding them, before casting them away and moving on to the next. I think it was Auldus Huxley who described a psychedelic experience as being like randomly shining a spotlight around the dark parts of your brain, causing you to understand your thoughts and feel like everything is linked.

This is how some cultures worship. In the Americas drugs were (are?) taken, transporting the taker to a higher plane where he finds himself or reaffirms his beliefs. It must be a deep religious experience if you don’t know you are just hallucinating. Like experiencing a god or something.

Because I can operate in dimensions independent of time, if I can work out how to control which dimension I am in at any one time, the limits of my experience are the limits of imagination. I can interact with other people even in dimensions where they are not ‘physically’ present, because I’ve built up an idea of how they will behave. How they’ve influenced me in previous meetings limits how they can influence me in these dimensions because this is all I know of them, and in these dimensions I cannot influence their reality, but it is still experience and could be described as real.

Of course how you interpret this idea depends on your definition of ‘real’. I mean does the brain make it real? Is there more to our being than just a brain? And can we have a reality that is independent of those of the people around us? At the moment, while seeming like a layabout to you unenlightened, I’m actually living the kind of life that should make most people jealous – just through the limitless worlds of other dimensions. :) Well maybe not but I like the idea of it. I think I’ll do some more mushrooms and see if that helps me understand how to do it.

A sort of unrelated thought: If a two dimensional world is represented by a TV screen, I can touch the screen at one side, then again at the other without having moved through the 2D world at all, because I can operate in the third dimension. Does that mean if I can operate in a fourth, fifth or nth dimension I can do a similar thing to your 3D world?

But anyway, I was very stoned while pondering this so I apologise if it seems about as interesting to you as mine and Ed’s birthday celebration does to my little sister :) Grrr…

Back soon

as if uni didn't make me hate them enough

2004-09-20T22:32:00.000Z

...I just typed a massive post about foxhunting and my bastard computer crashed and lost it all.

I'll try to recapture my rage tomorrow :)

In the meantime, take the test on this site. I was right between the Dalai Llama and Mandela. That hippie Walter was even further left. It's interesting to see how close to Berlusconi our scrupulous PM is.

Oh.. I wouldn't bother taking it Tom, the scale only goes so far left... you might break it :)

the message or the money

2004-09-17T22:12:00.000Z

this from 'Immortal Technique - The Cause of Death':

And just so Conservatives don't take it to heart
I don't think Bush did it, 'cuz he isn't that smart
He's just a stupid puppet taking orders on his cell phone
From the same people that sabotaged Senator Wellstone
The military industry got it poppin' and lockin'
Looking for a way to justify the Wolfowitz Doctrine
And as a matter of fact, Rumsfeld, now that I think back
Without 9/11, you couldn't have a war in Iraq
Or a Defense budget of world conquest proportions
Kill freedom of speech and revoke the right to abortions
Tax cut extortion,
a blessing to the wealthy and wicked
But you still have to answer to the Armageddon you scripted
And Dick Cheney, you fuckin leech, tell them your plans
About building your pipelines through Afghanistan
And how Israeli troops trained the Taliban in Pakistan
You might have some house niggaz fooled, but I understand
Colonialism is sponsored by corporations
That's why Halliburton gets paid to rebuild nations
Tell me the truth, I don't scare into paralysis
I know the CIA saw Bin Laden on dialysis
Back in '98 when he was Top Ten for the FBI
Government ties is really why the Government lies
Read it yourself instead of asking the Government why
'Cuz then the Cause of Death will cause the propaganda to die..

Off the album 'Revolutionary Vol. 2'
Check out this link for more on Senator Wellstone.

this from 'Jay-Z - Big Pimpin':

You know I - thug em, fuck em, love em, leave em
Cause I don't fuckin need em
Take em out the hood, keep em lookin good
But I don't fuckin feed em
First time they fuss I'm breezin
Talkin bout, "What's the reasons?"
I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch
Better trust than believe em
In the cut where I keep em
til I need a nut, til I need to beat the guts
Then it's, beep beep and I'm pickin em up
Let em play with the dick in the truck
Many chicks wanna put Jigga fist in cuffs
Divorce him and split his bucks
Just because you got good head, I'ma break bread
so you can be livin it up? Shit I..
parts with nothin, y'all be frontin
Me give my heart to a woman?
Not for nothin, never happen
I'll be forever mackin
Heart cold as assassins, I got no passion
I got no patience
And I hate waitin..
Hoe get yo' ass in
And let's RI-I-I-I-I-IDE.. check em out now
RI-I-I-I-I-IDE, yeah
And let's RI-I-I-I-I-IDE.. check em out now
RI-I-I-I-I-IDE, yeah

Fuck knows what album that's from.

Why does the latter sell so well while the former hardly gets heard?

P.S. I know that was a lazy post. Back soon with something of my own

(Lyrics courtesy of 'lyrics007.com')

this week I'll be mostly...

2004-09-16T15:21:00.000Z

listening to:

1) Sole - Selling Live Water

fucking amazing american hip hop. Lyrics on a new level I reckon.

2) J-Live - All Of The Above

I'm currently downloading this one but the tracks I've got so far are really cool.

3) El-P - Fantastic Damage

dirty new-wave hip hop with loads of messy samples, but sounds good all the same. And like most of my favourites... all about the lyrics.

Also, I recently discovered a show called 'Indelible Hip Hop'. It's basically a show created with me in mind... videos from classic US and new British acts. Best of all, no bling and no jiggy... so refreshing, especially considering it's on MTV... well MTV2 (mon 1.00am for those interested).

witness to shitness

2004-09-13T16:02:00.000Z

I play for a local football team. All of our home games are played on Hackney Marshes, the home of grass roots football. Like most of the lower leagues in London, ours is quite brutal. You generally expect a few take-no-prisoners tackles from men who have nothing exciting in their lives and who take out their frustrations on opposing players week in week out. We’ve got players like that on my team. It’s sad really. A crap job is tolerable because of a passion so strong that we pay fees to have lumps kicked out of us on a weekly basis. In this time of my being a layabout, the only thing that will get me out of bed before 11 o’clock also occupies much of my waking thought.

Last Sundays encounter was predictably bruising, but all the new-boot-blisters, recurring knee injuries and post-tackle threats fade in my memory, as what happened in the communal changing rooms after the game really shocked me.

After a gruelling 70-minute debut I came off as my boots were rubbing and making it hard to run. One of my friends, who had been playing on the adjacent pitch, came over and said his game had been called off as the opposing team had starting fighting a team from another pitch. This is nothing that out of the ordinary as fights happen all the time, although you’d usually expect them to be between teams who’re actually playing each other.

Then when we got to the changing rooms a scuffle broke out between these teams, on the other side of the building, perhaps twenty metres away. The fuck-wit captain of the team we were playing had left with the key to our shared room so we were locked out with our kit locked in, and had nothing to do but watch as it all turned nasty.

Andy, a Rasta on our team who seems to know every little scrote in London went over to try and break it up just as the shouting became really loud. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen twenty-odd massive guys fighting in an enclosed space but it was pretty scary and predictably (for Hackney) brutal.

Within seconds there was blood everywhere and a few people ran out the fire exit. Someone was shouting for first aid and there were a few more punches thrown, though it died down quickly and everyone tried to look as if they weren’t involved.

We were still locked out when the police arrived with a first aid kit, some fifteen minutes later. “Hurry up blood… you’d move faster if I’d just nicked a handbag” shouted the guy leading them, as the policewoman strolled over. Then the air ambulance landed outside and the area was sealed off.

We sat in disbelief when the changing room was finally opened. I’ve known people who were stabbed before, but this was flattening. Andy told us the horrible details. One guy had been repeatedly stabbed and slashed, in the face and body, even as he fell to the floor. His friends had understandably backed away leaving him open to further onslaught. The attacker then made a hasty exit with some of the team, a good ten minutes before the police arrived.

The air ambulance didn’t take the guy to hospital as the paramedics seemed to have stopped the bleeding, and the admin came round to tell us it wasn’t critical. We went out into the car park to see a policeman questioning someone from the victim’s team, who was covered in blood, presumably from cradling his mate as he lay. The team mate wasn’t talking though and the twenty or so policemen who’d turned up were going round the car park recording number plates.

I’ve had a while to reflect and it really depresses me. Firstly, stabbing someone that many times is to kill, not to wound. Andy told us he saw the guy stabbed about twenty times. The idea of going to play football in the morning and ending up lucky to be alive two hours later is just wrong. It was obviously some ongoing feud between two gangs from different areas, and had nothing to do with the game, but no matter what you say about living and dying by the sword etc this was wrong. The stabber might even get away with it, judging by the amount people seemed to be talking to the police; Andy wouldn’t even entertain the idea, but he’ll no doubt suffer a similar fate in a revenge attack.

That people have to live in that world purely because of poverty and where they are brought up makes me lose more of my faith in humanity. It’ll just end up as another anonymous horror story in the Hackney Gazette, and certainly wont make the national papers. Then to think that if Sven shags another ageing secretary it’ll be front page news.

Back soonish

let’s teach these infidels our beliefs

2004-08-19T20:16:00.000Z

Like buses, these posts - you wait for ages… well you know the rest

I’ll start by covering my back. I really dislike Rupert Murdoch and what he stands for. His papers are to unbiased journalism what pot noodles are to Chinese cuisine and his empire building follows the Bill Gates model of competitor harm. I may write a separate piece on him another time to justify the besmirching but for now just know I think he is a complete and utter wrong’un. But I’m weak, and I’m lazy. I watch Sky television because I’m often bored, and I occasionally read The Times because copies appear in my house.

Anyway, now you know how I came to read it, I can begin, my left-wing integrity protected. In July’s edition of the Times Magazine there’s an article titled ‘Bushworld’ that discusses George Dubya’s origins and beliefs. It’s common knowledge that Bush has the lowest IQ of any president tested, but few people know just how absurd his view of Christianity is - I certainly didn’t. I have a theory about Bush in which he is a scapegoat put in power so certain ‘necessary’ actions can be carried out then excused in the future as the policies of an idiot leader, but again that’s another post.

Bush grew up in a small town in West Texas called Midland. This seems like the sort of place that really makes me glad I was brought up in London, albeit in a more religious way than many. The article carries a quote from a resident:

“There are no lakes, no beaches, no ski-runs, no university, not really a
nightclub. We study the Bible.”

The pastor of the church where Bush learnt his first literal readings of biblical truth estimates that around three-quarters of Midlanders believe in ‘Pre-Millennial Dispensationalism’ or ‘Left Behind-ism’, and explains that Bush too leans towards these beliefs, although perhaps not completely.

The Left Behind doctrine is gaining popularity in America, a fact demonstrated by the sales of books on the subject, 62 million according to the article. The belief stems from the Bible in ‘Revelations’ and in an often overlooked letter from St Paul to the Thessalonians. Believers claim that when a series of predicted events is completed, we should prepare for the horrors of the Rapture.

The Rapture is a scarily intelligent dinosaur that can communicate… ho hum. No, the Rapture is Christ returning to earth and taking his ‘saved’ into the air to avoid the Tribulations, which will savage the rest of the world for seven years. Then the good are returned to rule the world. And this is the second coming of Christ to these twisted fundamentalists.

This is not that scary in itself - I’m sure there are people with more fucked up beliefs. What is however, is the phrase that Midlanders rejoice in when they consider the state of the world. It’s a quote from a 19th century evangelist who pioneered Midland values.

“The darker the night gets the lighter my heart gets.”

At face value this seems like the sort of ‘keep-your-chin-up’ quip you’d expect from a Sunday school student, but what it actually means is that the more messed up the world becomes, the closer the Rapture gets.

The following quote is from an oil-industry manager and contributor to the Bush campaign:

“After 9/11, after the battles along the Euphrates (river in Iraq, simpleton) and as the Jews get their full biblical lands, the Second Coming is closer every day. The hand of God is guiding American foreign policy and I rejoice in that. The turmoil in the Middle East is growing greater and I rejoice in that. The greater the turmoil, the closer the Rapture”

We can only hope that Bush's heart doesn't get lighter as unrest in the Middle East grows stronger. God damn you America.

Back soon

2004-08-19T19:53:00.000Z

midland's favourite son

programming the mind

2004-08-19T12:24:00.000Z

I’m a big fan of Derren Brown. Actually I’m a big fan of his tricks, because I can’t, in my coolness, be a fan of such a weirdo. (Why do all magicky people give off smarm in such a sinister way?). The trick that impresses me the most is one where he implants subconscious instructions into seemingly innocuous shopping mall announcements and subsequently manages to control a large number of customers’ actions. I’m intrigued by how he can seem to control and manipulate people as I’m sure it’d be a useful skill.

A look at the Channel 4 website started a random web-trail that led to an interesting article by a self-proclaimed expert in the field of mind control techniques. He claims that the level of sophistication of some of the afore-mentioned techniques stretches beyond the imagination of even this conspiracy theorist blogger. He cites a study in the US where researchers played instructions not to shoplift to customers, at a frequency undetectable to the conscious part of the human brain, but absorbed by the subconscious nonetheless. The results showed roughly a 30% reduction in shoplifting over a three-month period.

He goes on to talk about the different brain states, and our vulnerabilities in the ‘alpha’ state. Apparently we are at our most suggestible when in this state and many organisations seek to abuse this fact. The basic idea works using repetitive rhythms. Our brains can be led into an alpha state by aural, visual or possibly even extra-sensory stimuli, as long as they maintain a constant rhythm. This is the purpose of repeating a mantra in meditation; a kind of self-hypnosis. Achieving nirvana in Buddhism is akin to shutting down the distracting parts of the brain, i.e. getting the brain into a truly alpha state. Religions have apparently been using the technique for years, through chanting and repetitive prayer etc.

Cults and faith healers also utilise this technique. At meetings, before the main act, the audience is exposed to background music with a regular beat, then someone comes on to an extremely receptive crowd. The frequency of the rhythm has to be within a certain range (I read the article some months ago so I can’t remember what it should be and I can’t seem to find the link now). Politicians have also been known to speak in very definite rhythms while giving important speeches.

The author claims that there is evidence the big bad US government conducted research into more effective interrogation rooms where the correct frequency could be resonated through the chairs or furniture. The rational part of me dismisses ideas like these as part of my new policy of not stressing about things I have no control over, but I’m sure if there’s an advantage to be gleaned from something, with the vast sums of money invested in National Security, it’s likely to have been investigated.

There was one part of the article that really made me think, and in attempting to describe it I find myself wishing I had the original to refer to for details. Basically, the frame rate of television broadcasts is just less than the optimal frequency for alpha state induction (actual figures were given). To fix this [insert shady organisation here - I’d go for big business] actually insert blank frames during programmes in order to get the viewers alpha-ing during the commercial breaks. I realise how this sounds but I’ve noticed the effects. Someone who lives with me will sit transfixed with whatever is on, completely unable to communicate or even register contact attempts until there is a large and noticeable cut on the screen. And with the amount of money in advertising I wouldn’t put it past them, the evil bastards.

Anyway, you know now too so look out for it. As you might have noticed from this post, I’m not spending as much time writing these as I had originally intended because the pressure of having to meet a self-imposed standard just resulted in me not writing, so forgive the faults… I wrote this all in one go :)

I’ll try to find the article – it’s much more coherent.

Back soon

illegal but convenient

2004-07-19T02:03:00.000Z

Recently I’ve been thinking about the notion that humans are simply animals with developed brains and no more. I don’t necessarily believe it, because like most people I’ve been bombarded with a combination of science, religion and fantasy since I was born so I’m not sure what to believe, but I’m interested by it, so for the sake of this post I’ll be a man of science.

This line of simplistic thought makes many of our accepted sociological standards seem peculiar. The idea of animals collectively locking other animals up for not adhering to a set of rules, for example, seems unnatural, especially when so few have any real control over what the rules are.

Obviously, as society evolved and humans gained experience of living in groups, it became necessary to formalise the rules each individual should live by. ‘If you want to live with us and share our successes then you have to agree not to wrong any of us, under pain of some sort of penalty’. This sort of agreement is requisite for stability, but the purpose of laws is to govern behaviour between people, i.e. to protect an individual from harm at the hands of another. Where others aren’t affected, laws should not dictate what people can or cannot do. In a society the laws should reflect the views of the population, otherwise we hand over control of everything to someone else and forget that we have a choice. Do we have a choice at the moment? I don’t want to be too esoteric ‘Radford-style’ and exclude non-ex-housemates, but in the now infamous words of a cretin from late night TV, “Do we fuck”! Would the majority of people in England choose to have pubs stop serving at 11? Not the best example, I know, but one that’s close to my heart.

As a timeout, I’ll admit that these ideas aren’t new, but fuck it, being original wasn’t one of my rules, and this is my soapbox so I’ll say what I like :P

For as long as there have been outdated, unnecessary or unreasonable laws, people have chosen to break them as they see fit, hoping to get away with it. The black-market is and was successful throughout the ages because a large number of people saw breaking the law as a viable option.

Like most of my friends, breaking the law has become commonplace for me. Where I live an industry thrives on people’s general dissatisfaction with unreasonable laws. On a high street near me is a coffee shop from which you can buy skunk, weed and hash, sold in bags or in cakes, which are baked by the proprietor’s wife and can even be custom made. Customers can sit and smoke on the premises and play a game of pool. It’s almost legitimate. Most of the smokers I know use the shop or one of the others in the area.

The ridiculously high tax on cigarettes has lead to a number of the local newsagents selling duty-free versions of the major brands under the counter, at half the price. Obviously I recognise that tax is necessary in society, but £2.50 is a whole lot more convenient than a fiver and I’m damned if I’m going to pay a 500% mark-up. Well, not while there’s an alternative anyway.

It seems I can’t sit in a pub or a park without someone trying to flog me pirate DVDs. As it happens I’m never really interested… I’ve probably seen a copy downloaded from the Internet for free, but they’re better value than the authentic ones. It’s the same with music. Apple have recently launched a ‘revolutionary’ new site where customers can download their favourite tunes for as little as eighty pence each. Erm.. I think I’ll just stick to downloading them for free, but thanks anyway.

The list goes on. Few people are appalled at the idea of working for cash and avoiding tax, especially among the people I know. I’ll usually choose an unlicensed mini-cab after a night out. The off-licenses near me do a roaring trade in after-hours beers. Everyone knows a ‘really cool’ pub landlord who hosts the odd lock-in.

The point is that convenience in life is seemingly more important than being a ‘good citizen’.

But then strangely, having gone into this and then thought about it again, I’m not entirely sure I want the laws to change anymore. I’m scared to death at the idea of going to prison (or even getting a fine at the moment) but there is a real sense of pleasure and dare I say it smugness at having got one over on the system. Without wanting to sound too much like the hippie I may well be becoming, beating ‘the man’ once or twice in an adult life where I feel increasingly trodden on is deeply satisfying.

Anyway, enough late-night half-baked linguistically-degenerating ranting. Back soon.

off to a shaky start

2004-07-14T14:44:00.000Z

I've been trying to think of a way to start this for ages without success, so I decided just to get something, anything down. The idea for this blog is to only post when I've thought of something interesting to talk about, but I've had to break this first rule already, just to get started. As of August I'll be writing a column for an Arsenal website so I can't really talk about football here either. God this is going to be harder than I thought.
I won't be posting everyday because quite frankly I'm too lazy to think of something interesting that often, but check back soon, if only to bump up my hits counter.
I'm not sure if this is a good precedent to set, but for getting to the end of this post awake you've earned this. Enjoy.